I had a student I’ll call Cate. She took my RYT200 training. As I got to know her better, I discovered that Cate was a lifelong learner. Not only was she training to be a yoga teacher but she was also a licensed psychotherapist, a massage therapist, and an Ayurvedic practitioner. She had diligently studied everything from Somatic Experiencing to Craniosacral therapy to EMDR to shiatsu and more.
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However, as much as Cate loved to learn and was passionate about studying, there was a dark side. Cate was unemployed. She froze when she thought about getting a job or starting to teach. She worried that she was a neophyte, that she wasn’t good enough, that she didn’t know enough, that she couldn’t help anyone in the deep, masterful way that she wanted to, or that she would hurt someone. So, she kept getting certifications, but never put any of them into practice.
Cate’s fear isn’t uncommon among yoga teachers, particularly mature women. Some folks train to teach not only yoga but lots of other holistic modalities – but still feel like they just aren’t good enough, that they don’t know enough, and that they haven’t learned enough to be of any use to anyone.
Now, I’m a huge fan of trainings and courses – I love learning new things, I love being able to share wonderful techniques that help people reduce mental emotional challenges, regulate their nervous systems, feel better in their bodies, deepen their spiritual connection, and learn more about themselves. So I totally get the course-junkie thing.
But eventually, you have to take the leap – and that leap requires some confidence.
Cultivating confidence in yoga teaching can be tough. After all, it’s a deep, broad field of study that would take lifetimes to master. A brand new 200 hour yoga teacher may not feel confident – still she knows something that might help her students (and that one thought could be the singular bud through which confidence can begin to bloom).
I used to think confidence was something you were born with – some people have it and others don’t. But I don’t believe that anymore. I think confidence in teaching yoga (or anything really) comes from a combination of a few things – knowledge and experience of course, and a sense of meaning, purpose and identity are important too. The idea that you are helping someone is huge too.
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But then there’s this magic pixie dust that activates it all. I believe that comes as you grow an increasingly stronger and more intimate relationship with your Higher Self.
I like studying. I will always be a yoga student first. I take lots of classes, courses, and workshops because of the sheer joy I get from learning and sharing what I learn. But I also feel compelled to put all that knowledge into practice – it’s like I have to teach, otherwise I would be bursting at the seams with all that I want to share.
Teaching reinforces my sense of identity, meaning, and purpose. And it also gives me the experience (along with both positive and constructive feedback from students) that then further shores up my confidence. But I’m bursting at the seams to share not because of my confidence in my knowledge base, because of my relationship with my Higher Self.
If I sat back and thought, “Wow, I know SO much, I have been teaching for SO long, I have SO much to offer because I’m SO smart,” my confidence would quickly evaporate.
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My brain is a freakin’ sieve.
Most things fall right out of it. And the older I get the truer that becomes. So, how could this sieve of a brain possibly hold all the knowledge of yoga?
Which means I need a bigger (and less porous) receptacle for it all – and that’s my Higher Self. It holds knowledge and wisdom and transfers it through my mouth (mostly 😍). I mean, how could my clueless, forgetful small little ego of a self be a good yoga teacher? That would be way too exhausting, and scary, not to mention impossible.
The great, twentieth century mystical poet Rabindranath Tagore wrote:
“My poet’s vanity dies in shame before thy sight. O master poet, I have sat down at thy feet. Only let me make my life simple and straight, like a flute of reed for thee to fill with music.”
Tagore – wikimedia commons
My yoga practice (mostly meditation) reminds me of Tagore’s poem. I can ask for the opportunity to make my life simple and straight so that the teachings flow through me rather than from me.
My little self has plenty of confidence issues – it’s not crazy about the way its aging face looks. It has bad hair days. It gets annoyed with its nasal-y New Jersey accent. But when I get out of the way when I’m teaching (or doing anything really) and let my Higher Self inform the experience, I can stop obsessing about whether or not I’m good enough.
Many older women, particularly the Gen X and Baby Boomers, have confidence issues. We’ve been acculturated from a very young age to see ourselves as less – not as smart, not as skillful, not as valuable, not enough. We’ve been acculturated to lack confidence, to see ourselves as second rate. And, this may seem like a weird thing to say, but it’s almost a blessing. It means that we don’t have as much ego to powder down in order to realize who or what is actually at the helm.
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When I get out of my own way, confidence isn’t much of an issue. Something much greater, more powerful, more meaningful, and more helpful flows through me. The priority then becomes deepening the loving, expansive relationship with my Higher Self. The reality is that my Higher Self never lets me down. It is a bright, beautiful light forever guiding me along the path. It is where my confidence emanates from and where the fruits of my actions return to.
As I’ve strengthened that relationship with my Higher Self new opportunities have opened up and pathways have become clearer.
Things don’t always go the way I want them to – that’s the nature of life. But the world is much bigger than my small ego’s confidence can envision. When I allow my confidence to emerge from my Higher Self, along with a higher sense of meaning and purpose, anything is possible. Nothing is off the table.
Please check out my free ebook, Chakras: Is Everything You’ve Been Taught Wrong? to discover 4 differences between traditional and new interpretations of the chakra system.
CHAIR YOGA FOR YOUR BRAIN & NERVOUS SYSTEM
SUBTLE® YOGA FOR ENHANCING TRAUMA RECOVERY
Five Ways Yogic Meditation Benefits Your Brain – eBook
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Thank you Kristine. That touches deep and is so empowering!
thanks so much Annie!
I so needed to read this right now. I am that older woman, life long learner, spending time and money on all these courses and doing nothing with the knowledge I acquire, paralyzed by lack of confidence and fear of hurting someone. Thank you, Kristine, for sharing your wisdom, once again.
Mary I’m sending you a great big hug and a limitless rain shower of confidence. You got this!!!
Your most powerful sentence in this blog, to me, is “The priority then becomes deepening the loving, expansive relationship with my Higher Self.” I know that my Higher Self IS me! She not only never lets me down, always guides me, and wants the very best for me, she IS ACTUALLY THE ESSENCE OF ME. I forget that often. When I remember it, I have confidence.
So awesomely motivational! Thank you! I took a TaiChi class in January with the goal of incorporating TaiChi into some of my yoga flows. I attended a TaiChi class once a week for 6 weeks since then. Then I added a second class a week. To practice. To know it. To do it perfectly! GREAT reminder to revert to my mantra, “Make it happen!” So next week my yoga classes will have TaiChi moves incorporated. As the Nike commercial says: Just Do It!
I am the only one who will know whether it is right or wrong, I am transparent with my class when introducing new things, there is nothing to be afraid of but fear itself….worse case scenario: we will have a few laughs! Nothing wrong with laughter.
that’s wonderful Carol – in this case I totally agree with the Nike gods. xo
Wonderful post! I have been a teacher all my life and only in the last few years as a “mature” yoga teacher have I felt confident that I have something valuable to contribute! Thank you! 🙏
that’s beautiful and the wonderful thing about yoga is the older you get, the better you get at teaching it!
Agreed, agreed and agreed. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thanks Maria!
I get Cate! And you get us! Perfect support🤣thank you🙏
thank you!
Thank you so much for that Kristine. It’s just what I wanted to hear as I can absolutely relate. I took my yoga teacher training twice. I obtained my Reiki Master certificate and never used it. I attended many other classes and even one year of seminary. I still do not have the confidence I would like to have so I will try depending on my higher power…….that should help.
Thanks Sylvia. It’s always there for you and it believes in you.
Thank you for sharing this. I am grateful you share you practices, philosophy, and thoughts like this because they help remove the doubts I often have about being a yoga instructor (and other roles), forcing me to return to my self-study and trust the spirit within me.
lovely. I encourage you to deepen that trust. xo
Thank you for opening up this conversation. so resonates with where I’m at in building confidence in my practice. Enoughness. I have enough material, enough embodied knowledge. Enough in my toolkit. to suppport my skill development, I am currently prototyping one on one somatics sessions– encouraged by friends and colleagues who are generously providing feedback and insights to our recorded sessions. What a gift of learning.
my take away is this: “that one thought could be the singular bud through which confidence can begin to bloom” thanks again for bringing this up :))
blessings,
Katherine
lovely. Thank you for what you are offering this world and may you continue to bloom!
You always have something that helps me learn about myself and higher self. I love that you mention your aging face and all the things that we don’t like about ourselves ( watching and listening to you I always see perfection).. it is hard to accept these things about ourselves, feeling it too, seeing the lines on the lips, the thinner skin on myself, the neck is also taking a beating. But love the reward in which we get to experience something deeper and more expansive inside of us and share this with others. Getting more confident with teaching every day because of your gift, something I could barely imagine for myself. So grateful for you and your teachings along with your honesty.
Isn’t it funny how we can see perfection in everyone else but ourselves LOL. Ah well. I am grateful for you too Danalee, and for the gifts you share with your students. And I’m so happy to hear how much work you’ve put into yourself and your teaching. You’re butterflying!
Once again a beautiful, insightful, and vulnerable sharing, Kristine. I echo the words of reader Danalee Gascon above. I definitely fit the profile too: Lifetime learner, holder of multiple certificates, accreditations, etc., and eternal seeker of connecting to my higher Self! I totally get the part about the ‘blessing’ of a ‘less powerful’ ego, for us GenXers/Boomers.
Thank you Stephanie!
OMG! I went to bed last night super stressed about all the training’s & online courses costing heaps of money and still not earning a dam cent!
I did a meditation to help me sleep as it was nearly morning….last thing I remembered was “surrender surrender and wait and see”
Upon waking with tea in hand the 1st thing I read was your email……OMG is that not the higher self at work?? Thank you thank you the last word I’m left with is TRUST!
xxx
That’s wonderful Toni! Surrender is the key.
Thank you so much Kristine for those really helpful words. I am older and have just started facilitating a couple of community yoga classes… I have often wondered when do I stop saying I am a learner teacher…and recently have stopped saying this and focussing more on what I can share rather than what I don’t know. My doubt voice often creeps in and there is so much out there to learn about. Your words have really helped me.
Thank you Stella. You certainly do have much to offer. I like that you are ready to stop saying that you are a learner teacher. That’s a great shift!
Beautiful! Trusting in our Higher self, God-given abilities is the way to move forward. I struggled with all you shared. At 61, I am now convinced that we have an abundance of love to lavish on others. Latitude to reach new heights! Humbly moving forward.
that’s beautiful. Getting older is such an underestimated gift!
Kaoverii You have such a gift with communication. I’ve enjoyed how you dive into the self and crack open the egg for us all to see. Thank you for sharing
Thank you so much Barbara. I hope you are doing well my friend!
I am that “older woman” you are speaking to, yet I taught yoga pre-Covid. Classes are starting back up and while I’ve practiced at home and with some YouTube videos, I haven’t taught a class in 2 years. My personal practice has changed dramatically and I doubt my ability to inspire a new-to yoga audience.Truth be told, I’ve been enjoying my slower, shorter at-home practice. We’ll see what happens.
I love this so much! At 70, I still consider myself a student first and a lifelong learner. I remember a conversation we had many years ago (maybe 14 or 15?) when I said something like, “I teach the way I understand it at this time.” Thanks to you, and easier access to information, that understanding continues to grow and deepen, as does my confidence to share it. I am so grateful for that!
Thank you Diane. You are such a wise person. You helped me with my confidence with that statement. and I am eternally grateful to you for that!
xo
Mentorship is sadly lacking in current training programs. We need more mentors! I fell into teaching yoga over 20 years ago when i attended a class by a yogafit trained teacher who had her manual open as she taught. I hadn’t attended any teacher trainings (yet) but I knew more about yoga than she did. So I started teaching what I knew from years of classes. My teacher at the time agreed to be my support which helped a lot. I could go to her with any concerns when i was a newbie. Her mentorship was why I felt safe teaching even though I lacked formal teacher training. Years later I did my first 200 hr. As teachers we are just channels for the knowledge. Mentors give us the confidence to shine our light not our egos. I have worked to pass on the gift of mentoring. I think Kristine serves as a mentor for many. Even friends can boost and mentor each other. We are not in competition but here to share the gifts of yoga.
I love your blogs Kristina. This one really sang to me. Thank you for ALL of whom you are….including the bad hair days, your nasally twang. I so appreciate your humour and frank, open sharing.
I thanks Donna – my voice annoys me sometimes – but that’s okay, I’m proud to be a Jersey girl LOL!
Such a positive, uplifting blog, Kristine.
I especially like the reminder that, ‘Things don’t always go the way I want them to ‘.
That’s the power and the deep wisdom of the Higher Self – that more refined part directs us to choose things to go the way we NEED them to.
And though the Higher Self’s tendency to choose our needs instead of our wants is usually the least popular preference to our small ego, it’s always, always the most beneficial in hindsight.
This is so true. Thank you for sharing Denise!
Thankyou for this, I also am that woman in her late 70’s I have studied herbology, aromatherapy, Bach flower remedies, reiki, nutrition & am a Homeopath. I had Cancer last year & that shocked me deeply as I have always thought myself healthy. I am recovering very well & again reaching out to my Higher Self, which many years ago I did regularly, & Yes I know you are right, it is all there & hopefully the confidence will emerge enough to branch out & share with others.
Many blessing on your healing journey and thank you for sharing your gifts with others.
Beautiful Kristine. Definitely worth a reprint.
Thanks Cathy!
“I don’t know anything, but I do know that everything is interesting if you go into it deeply enough.”
― Richard Feynman
that’s a good one!
I have been teaching Yoga and meditation for 45 + years and I too have times o
f self doubt.I lost my husband very suddenly 3 years ago and I’m sure it was with the
help of my lovely students, yoga, meditation and my spiritual connection that I was
able to carry on and inspire others to do the same. Thank you so much for your inspiration.
Thanks for sharing Barbara and I’m so sorry for your loss – it’s lovely to hear how supportive yoga and community can be during difficult times.
The teacher facilitator of my YTT was great at encouraging us to start teaching straight away, in fact x amount if hours were required to gain our certification which was a great way to push through the fear if teaching.
Most of my fellow yogis started out by teaching friends or family members, but i decided to rip the band aid off and started teaching strangers from the beginning because I knew if i didn’t do that I would never get started.
Looking back now that was absolutely insane!
I probably made a lot of mistakes but I kept going and refining and most importantly through that risk, trial and error , flying by the seat of my pants I found my teaching voice.
thanks for sharing!