Today I’m going to write a little bit about one of the kleshas, asmitā, often translated as “egotism.” But I think I’ll first set it up with an anecdote. When I started teaching at the Y way back when, I had a couple who came to class ready to rumble. They tied their bandanas tight, slid their mats up close, sat down and glared, daring me to kick their asana.
I tried to comply.
Back then yoga was getting increasingly harder and faster. I thought I needed to up my game and give people what they wanted in order to be seen as an “advanced” teacher. But I was never all that interested in (or honestly, very good at) kicking asana. And that couple, as well as plenty of other students who were there for the workout, didn’t last long. I was not the right teacher for their objectives.
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By the mid 2000s, the fallout of strenuous repetitive asana practice was evidenced by the increasing number of injuries. Students would come to me and tell me how they’d hurt themselves from going to other classes. They would tell me that they wanted to keep doing yoga and someone had recommended my class while they were healing.
Back then teachers would rarely talk about asana injuries, there was a lot of shame and fear. Fortunately that’s changed. Many teachers are much more open and talking about their injuries and how yoga caused them. They will point to poses that wrecked their SI joint, gave them low back pain, or tore their labrum.
But, that’s not the whole story.
Saying that a specific pose caused your back, shoulder, or SI joint problem is kinda like saying your Ferrari caused you to speed, or the seafood buffet caused you to gorge yourself, or your neighbor’s heated swimming pool caused you and 50 of your closest friends to skinny dip while they were out of town.
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The problem isn’t entirely external, it’s mostly asmitā.
Asmitā is the second of the five kleshas or causes of suffering outlined by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras. As I wrote above, it’s often translated as “egotism.” And sure, there is sometimes egotism involved in performing fancy poses. But that’s not what I’m talking about here.
If you dig a little deeper, the meaning of asmitā is a little more nuanced. Asmitā is the tendency of conflating your sensory motor organs with your mind. And then conflating your mind with the witness.
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Asmitā makes me believe that my mind isn’t involved in the choice of how I do poses. It causes me to link my body’s experience to something external. It makes me want to do poses the “right way.” It makes me desire to do the “full expression” or achieve Instagram perfection of the pose.
Asmitā limits inquiry. It makes me believe that the contents of my thoughts are accurate, but they usually aren’t. They typically need a lot more assessment, analysis, discernment, and openness to other ways of knowing. Like just the basic, “Why am I doing this pose?” question.
We tend to think, “This is just what yoga is. And this is just how you do that pose. And you should just do it like that if you want to be good at yoga.” And so, when we run into issues or injuries, we then conclude that it’s the pose that’s causing the injury or problem – which lets the mind off the hook.
But the problem has much more to do with the way you think about (or don’t think about) and talk to yourself about your practice. We’re not necessarily encouraged to inquire, “What is the goal? What am I striving for? What is the purpose of this practice? Why am I so driven?”
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If you take (or teach) yoga asana classes regularly and you don’t bring this level of inquiry to your process, you are more likely to get injured, and if you are a teacher, you’ll probably assist your students in that process. There’s nothing wrong with striving to do harder poses, but you should also be crystal clear about why. I suggest paying attention to how asmitā shows up in your practice.
Maslow famously said, “If the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.”
Unfortunately, much yoga asana education teaches the hammer method. You hammer yourself with down dogs and chaturangas and you hammer yourself with handstands and you hammer yourself with lunges and you keep hammering away until you are a perfect chiseled yogi. In this line of thinking, the teacher’s job is simply to help you hammer harder.
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When you start to feel an ache in your shoulder, hip, sacrum, or low back – the obvious conclusion is that some pose is causing the problem – oblivious to the fact that you’re the one holding a hammer.
Yoga poses have no feelings, no agenda, and no control over you. They are neutral. Your mind needs to discern which are appropriate and which are not, based on your investigation, inquiry, experience, and goals. And that process requires some work and a significant investment in time. You won’t find it in a manual.
What if you approached yoga poses with a more subtle tool? With an attitude that was perhaps something like a charcoal pencil, an emery board, a feather duster, or a soft cloth?
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When you practice bringing awareness to the way your mind approaches asana practice, you can begin to more carefully select your tools – from a wide range of possibilities – that go way beyond the hammer category. “Maybe today I’ll explore a little less range of motion. Maybe today I’ll take a slightly shorter stance. Maybe today I’ll turn my foot out differently.” You can then observe the effects of that action, and begin to untangle the asmitā.
You are much more interesting than any yoga pose. And you are the greatest potential expert of your own body, and the greatest potential judge of what is useful for you in asana practice and what isn’t. How do you develop that potential? You slow down, look inside, investigate, explore, and learn about yourself. And you stop depending upon the external to make default decisions.
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Asana practice provides an opportunity for us to viyoga – to separate in order to better understand the different aspects of our being. Then we can samyoga, put them back together again with more clarity, purpose, focus, and meaning. Teaching yoga is the art of guiding others in this process of inquiry.
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So eloquently and masterfully put! And SO true. Thank you so much for this. I will pass it around for sure!
Thanks so much Phyllis, I appreciate that!
I hear what you are saying and thank you for continuing to advocate for all of us who are trying to make our yoga practice about the practice and not the somewhat unachievable perfection that society likes to promote.
Thanks so much Anita!
I have felt this way before and wound up allowing myself to get injured without realizing my competitiveness was aiding in not being body aware and kinder to myself. Thank you for your observation and awareness. It so helpful.
me too Laura! You’re not alone. It’s a process and hopefully we learn and grow!
So well said! Thank you Kristine
Thanks Denise!
I agree with you 100% that our egos are what drive us to over achieve and over extend resulting in injury. But what role did our the egos of our two favorite megalomaniac male yoga teacher icons play in projecting a distorted and unrealistic projection of somatic perfection? Massive. Unless there is a commensurate invitation to internalize and take control and adapt then the practice is always going to be external trying to meet some gurus ego expectation. Hardly liberating and not safe and not inclusive. It’s only in the last few years the yoga community has embraced the variety of variety of phenotypes and improved inclusiveness. Hello, it’s my body I’ll look like I want to! And on a slightly more pedantic note, I’m not sure yoga poses are neutral. I understand your point but….I see lots of Yoga poses that involve a way to much torquing and compression force on the joints that would not be considered safe in other fitness contexts, e.g hero pose and knees for one. Thanks for discussing this subject and providing some authentic yoga context, I’m looking forward to reading more comments.
yes those earlier teachers were sometimes a bit off base – and, like you’ve said before, seemed to miss the whole point of internalizing experience! As for the poses, I have seen 60+ year old Indian swamis doing some crazy hard, insane, inaccessible to most postures – I really think it’s all about the person, not the pose!
👏👏👏👏🎩. That’s why I don’t call myself a yoga “teacher”, i prefer the word guide. Im there only to encourage self enquiry of each pose. Where it starts, journeys and ends is the individual practitioners decision, BUT I invite them to recognise and challenge their ego, within each pose, to find where THEIR yoga autonomy begins and ends- not mine, not a guru’s, not society’s programming, theirs.
Some, sad to say usually those who definitely DONT need it, will always choose to express their pose through ego, but every now and then, even the most ego driven will let go and allow their asana, to find them. And it’s so beautiful to see that authentic practice, the joy it gives, and ironically, the better aesthetic form!🤷♀️😉
Thank you for all the beautiful return to slow yoga inspiration you bring into this world Kristine.🙏
yes “guide” is a beautiful way to describe what you do Kali!!
In my teaching I suggest a basic version of an asana, and offer options for taking it further – depending how the students feels inspired – or not – to try a more challenging/strengthening/lengthier version. I encourage people to feel the effects of each movement. To pause and observ, like a scientist. (That’s my background!). I hardly venture into ‘harder’ poses these days. so no shoulder or head stands, no raja kapotasana, as I think the benefits are available in simpler poses, slower rhythmic movements with interoception. Classes are aimed at ‘mature age’ people who are generally pleased to focus on maintaining their wellbeing, Perhaps asmita is less of an issue in this age group. The challenge that i love is to show how yoga can open us, clear out past hindrances, warm our hearts, and bring connection, peace and a feeling of safety. Kristine your teaching is my model , and i’m grateful!
I love your scientific approach Pamela!
”You are much more interesting than any yoga pose” Yes yes yes! It seems that in the western world perfect asana is the most important aspect of yoga. Perhaps because we’re bombarded with perfect pose from former ballerinas or acrobats turned yoga instructor at some point of their life. I believe there’s so much to do to share the real meaning of yoga. I remember my first experience in Indian ashram when I was hardly try to reach padmasana, my teacher told me ”Don’t worry, you are still a yogini” 🙂 That phrase resonates in my mind every time I push too much and it grounds me. I repeat it to my students when I see them trying to practice an asana but their body and mind are not ready, yet. Thanks for sharing your contents.
thanks so much Lolanda!
I like to remind myself that “Balls to the Wall” is not a yoga pose. 😉
I’m ROFLOL! That’s hilarious and so true!!
Once again, you’ve nailed it! This is why I went on to become a certified yoga therapist. Thanks for carrying the smarter yoga banner. 😊
thank you Nan – and thanks for doing such great work!
“It does not have to look like yoga to be yoga!” When a student asks “does this look right?”, I always answer, “How does it feel in your body?” As an instructor, I always suggest &, allow for exploration, modifications, props, rest, etc. The only correction I make is if the student is doing a pose in an unsafe, harmful way! I have always been a “subtle” yoga practitioner & instructor & have learned soooo much from you! Thank you for all of your research & all of your presence! Namaste~
that’s beautiful! Thank you Susan, you are an inspiration!
Thank you for this post!! Such valuable thought-provoking information and I love your questions. (“What is the goal? What am I striving for? What is the purpose of this practice? Why am I so driven?”)
Thank you Kate – I’m glad it was thought provoking for you! xo
I’m so glad I found you Kristine! I’ve been offering yoga classes for over 20 years. I began offering subtle yoga and I continue to offer subtle yoga. I gained a reputation early on that I was the “gentle” teacher, geared perfectly for older demographics. Wanting to work with people of all ages, I taught at a college for 15 years, but couldn’t for the life of me get the students to stick with my classes. They wanted fast, sweaty yoga, void of philosophy, and that’s simply not what I offer. Each semester, there may be a small handful of students who saw the value of slowing down and having an inner event, but I ended up leading mostly staff and faculty. I definitely see age as a factor in this discussion.
Thankfully, I’ve been able to do what I love all these years without giving in to the trends and popular styles I saw growing throughout my small community. Finding you was a breath of fresh air, an antidote from feelings of isolation amongst the yoga community that I have often felt. Ego can most certainly be found within the ranks of teachers, and that can easily spill over into the perceptions and attitudes of our students. They are looking to us, and we carry a sacred responsibility as we stand in front of them to encourage inquiry, curiosity and above all, ahimsa, non harm.
I highly recommend checking out Anneke Lucas, who I studied with in early 2020. Anneke ran a program that brought yoga into prisons. She teaches something called the “Unconditional Model”, which essentially avoids barking orders to students and instead encourages them to take agency and use their inner messaging to guide the practice. I adopted the model of teaching and never looked back.
thank you for all your work!
aw, thanks Kristy!
Thank you Kristine. Once again, your information resonates.
Glad you enjoyed it Regina!