Moving to a new country has got me thinking a lot about contentment and tolerance. I’m used to having a two-sink kitchen sink, but here I only have one, I’m used to having a clothes dryer, here I have a line, I’m used to calling my mom whenever I want, here I have to think about the time difference, I’m used to playing my guitar, but currently it’s vacationing (with most of my other worldly possessions) on a ship in the middle of the Pacific.
*Sigh* First world problems.
When I get pissy about life’s inconveniences, brutal giants emerge to occupy my inner landscape – poverty, racism, sexism, genocide, environmental destruction. They laser away my frustration reminding me to practice santosha (saṃtoṣa) – the yogic principle of contentment.
A cup of tea, a deep breath, a glance at the sky, a walk in the woods, a gratitude list, the quiet of morning meditation, a good stretch, a smile from my son – make my kitchen sink woes slink back into their holes.
But why do human beings want contentment so badly? Why do we wish for greater tolerance?
Because we are hardwired for it.
Our nervous systems, in fact the whole of our physiology, wants homeostasis, wants balance. It’s what we need to get our front brains online and get on with everything other than survival.
As Abraham Maslow (and so many before and after him) have said that when our needs our basic needs are met, we can self-actualize. We can become someone, and we can do something greater than survive. Being a western person with education (and little residual trauma) automatically puts me in the category of potential self-actualizer.
From that vantage point, contentment and tolerance are simply a matter of reframing, supportive relationships, and self-care.
This morning, as I practiced my asanas, I thought about how grateful I am to have these practices that create balance. What if everyone did? What would the world be like if we all had wide open windows of tolerance? The Window of Tolerance was developed by neuroscientist and psychiatrist Dan Siegel.
I see some very wide open windows here in New Zealand.
I don’t want to idealize a culture that has its very own variety of dysfunction, but it’s interesting to witness a certain cultural contentment. People value and protect their free time (many things are closed, or close early, on Sundays), school is fairly laid back, very little homelessness, everyone can get at least basic health care, there’s a lot of community support, and I’ve never seen so many older people so easily glide up mountains.
I want to share this graphic with you – it was the final project from a student in a recent Subtle Yoga Teacher Training for Behavioral Health Professionals. And it so beautifully expresses the power of these practices to open up the window of tolerance.
Many thanks to Sarah Lane Campbell – Sarah’s happy for you to use this in your work or on social media as long as you credit her.
For me, Sarah’s graphic is an excellent, succinct reminder of the power of these practices to widen our window and help us experience greater contentment, tolerance, and joy. When we are able to find our balance and find contentment and tolerance, we help others achieve it as well. And tolerance is not only good for us individually, it is the antidote to the greed, corruption, and dysfunction that plagues our world.
There’s still time to register for my online workshop/retreat coming up Feburary 20-21, Pranayama and Asanas to Thrive During Challenging Times, Read more about it here. For those who have already signed up, keep an eye out for emails this week to help get you ready!
CHAIR YOGA FOR YOUR BRAIN & NERVOUS SYSTEM
SUBTLE® YOGA FOR ENHANCING TRAUMA RECOVERY
Five Ways Yogic Meditation Benefits Your Brain – eBook
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Hello. Enjoyed your newsletter with many reminders as to how to increase contentment and to let go of complaining. 😊 Thank you.
Thanks Maureen!
Kia ora Kristine – welcome to NZ. I am super excited to read that you are in NZ! I’m in Wellington. I discovered you this morning on FB and everything you were talking about resonated with me so much!! I have just started your Science of Slow. Would LOVE to see you up here? You are amazing! Thank you!
Nga mihi Mariko! I am hoping to do a workshop in Auckland at some point this year – please keep in touch! xoxo
That would be so so wonderful! Cannot wait to meet you in person!
Wait. You are moving to New Zealand?!?!?
yes, we’re already here and will be for a year or two. My husband is a Kiwi
Thank you Sarah Lane Campbell, for the beautiful and clear graphic! And thank you, Kristine, for your ongoing perspective that helps us keep ours.
thanks Tara!
Thank you Sarah for such a clear and neat graphic of WOT you are amazing! Thank you Kristine for keeping in touch on regular basis. I am always looking forward to reading from you. You are the Best!
Thanks so much Ruby!
I think this graphic is great! Great insight Sarah and thank you for sharing Kristine and for the perspectives of the article!
Thanks Astra – I love it too!
Appreciate your honest open sharing! Plus the info graphic 🙂
Welcome to NZ! I’ve been here 21 years from the UK and you can’t help but feel the vastness of the world stretching from these shores all the way back to what was home. We are in a kiwi bubble for sure, and that is wonderful in some ways and strange in others. You are so right, the focus on what’s not right is endless, and sucks us down into a vortex of self-pity. Coming back to how the brain functions in ‘stressful’ times and the tools we can apply is so empowering, thanks for the reminders. As we go back into lockdown here in Auckland I can feel how much more resourced my nervous system is, the neural pathways are there, the ways of handling something so new last year have changed. Hurrah! I wish you well on your integration and hope to meet you some time. Take care, love Sarah in Akl
Thank you Sarah – and I hope the lockdown passes by quickly and smoothly. I hope the meet you while I’m here – we are planning a workshop in Auckland – no details yet but please keep an eye out. Lots of love xoxo
Welcome to NZ. I am in Christchurch also. I moved down here from Northland in October last year. It has been a big adjustment from my life up north and I am grateful for my yoga practice that holds and supports me during challenging times.
I am not surprised that things are going well in New Zealand and your adjusting well to the new culture. I visited for the limit of my visa back in the year 2000. I was amazed at their ability to contemplate the impact of their intention before engaging in the action.
I saw in the headlines this morning that three local New Zealanders tested positive for COVID-19 and the culture is responding with procedures to lessen the spread. How is it possible to get people to think about others, and take safe actions to ensure the health of fellow citizens.?