Letting Go + Where I’ll be for the next year or two
By Kristine Kaoverii Weber | December 16, 2020
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about letting go. Mostly because life is forcing the issue. I keep reminding myself about a popular saying in the recovery world – “Let go and let God.”
Wish it was as easy as the bumper stickers suggest. But it’s freakin’ hard.
And my inner 3-year-old is having a moment.
This past month I’ve been in the process of reluctantly letting go of (in no particular order):
- Half my wardrobe (including the now tattered gauzy hippie dress I was wearing when I met my husband)
- My house (It’s nice, but there are lots of nice houses in the world)
- My training courses (which I’ve been conducting regularly since 2006, although my plan is to resume them in 2022 or 2023)
- My plants (they’re not going to miss my brown thumb)
- My Vitamix and Instapot (different voltage so letting go = no smoothies on the ceiling)
- My friends (I’ll see most of them again, but not next year)
- My cat (wimper – but he’s found a really nice, loving home so…he’ll be fine)
- My big computer monitor (Really? I somehow felt the need to put that on my list?)
- A lot of shoes (How many flip flops does one truly need?)
- My bed (I can be happy in many different beds… And get your mind out of the gutter)
- My cell phone (Oh good lord – get another one)
Thank you for indulging me in that reframing exercise.
I knew in 1998 when I married Brett that we might not live in the United States forever. I knew that our lives would always be a little bit up in the air. He’s from a small island country that’s far, far away…from everything.
When COVID hit he said we should go back for a while. He likes to joke about being a hobbit and said that he needs to take his family back to the Shire from time to time.
So, the plan is to live in Christchurch for 12 – 24 months.
I’ll still be doing all my online teaching (including The Subtle Yoga Resilience Society of course!) – but I’m taking a break from my teacher training programs next year, except for those at the Mountain Area Health Education Center (MAHEC), which I will be teaching virtually.
We did not make this decision lightly.
It evolved over several months of family meetings, working through different scenarios, and a fair amount of late night waffling. I have no idea what’s ahead, but I do have an intuitive inkling that this journey will be helpful personally for my husband and son – and perhaps for me as well.
I like clarity and certainty.
My inner control freak is not so good with ambiguity (and how the fork am I supposed to figure out how to drive on the other side of the road?!). So, this decision has been something of a crash course in letting go.
As I work on this letting go letting God stuff (it’s a process after all) the load continues to lighten, the fear abates somewhat, my nervous system reboots, and, in general, I feel a mounting sense of excitement and, ironically enough, a growing sense of contentment.
BTW, I realize how incredibly privileged I am to be able to live in New Zealand. I’ve had friends tell me that they are jealous and even angry at me that I can escape and they can’t.
I get it. I’m not complaining. Still, there’s a lot of letting go to do. Elsa’s been belting out my theme song this year.
You can still reach me at kristine@subtleyoga.com and I’ll still be blogging and teaching… from the Shire.
Kia Ora!
❤️
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I really appreciate this blog 🙂
Thank you and Godspeed to you and your family. I always look forward to your blog. Letting go is a tough process, but the lightness is worth it! Go and don’t look back. Maybe you’ll meet Gandalf. You a are a brilliant and genuine teacher❤️
Secretly chuffed to have you on this side of the world. New Zealand is the most beautiful place. You are a most beautiful person, so God is working well.
Enjoy down under
Oh how fabulous for you and your family. All the very best wishes for what will be an adventure, a learning experience and hopefully a really good break.
Cryn
It does sound like a great adventure into the a very positive unknown!! I can see how it isn hard to let go of a lot though….I have no doubt you will blossom in ways you never imagined!!!!
I wish you much peace and joy on this new leg of your journey. Letting go is hard but new things open up! Jai!
I have moved out of the states many times. I feel for you and this process and you will never regret the journey and the memory of all the letting go pieces will fade (except the memories) (take photos of stuff you want to remember so you can get “re-sparked” if need) otherwise you will not miss the stuff at all. Life is so bountiful and I know you, more than many, know that there are riches to be found. Yes, I envy you your move and the location of the move, as I have never moved to an English speaking country. – even if they do change up all the vowels.)
I am so glad technology will allow you to remain with us and I am excited you are going to be able to spread the word down under! Happy Trails!
Yis they do! Thanks Kyczy! I so appreciate you and your kindness.
I loved to read your article. Last year, I moved from Germany to Australia and the “letting go” of all the things I collected over the years seems to become one of the best decisions I have made in my life.
All the best!
Anya
Very exciting — both the PRactice of letting go — andthe practice of letting God …show you what’s next. Good for you and your family!! Go well. Elizabeth H.
Thank you for sharing your heart. I believe this will be an amazing adventure to write a book about. Be well, and enjoy!
I am so excited for you! Can’t wait to hear all about your experiences!
I hope you enjoy your adventure. It’s a wonderful opportunity. I spent 4 weeks in New Zealand a few years ago and fell in love with it, I hope you do too. My New Years resolution is to finish your course which I have found really enlightening. Bon voyage
Congratulations on moving to an earthly paradise! I’m so happy for your new life.
How wonderful! Thank you for sharing your journey and I can relate to much of it. Blessings of Shalom and thank you for your inspiring work.
Congratulations! A new adventure of the best kind is something to look forward to. So excited for you and your family. ♥️
My new mugs arrived today! Great mugs! oh and labels or stickers. I didn’t really need anything else in fact I have been ” letting go” of things for what is almost a full 9 months. I thought buying those and the Chakra course was a small way to support your adventure. I love all three and four of these– counting your adventure. The first two year adventure I experienced was going to Boston for grad school. They spoke English however Mid westerners sound differently, they said. ha ha So I learned a lot on the east coast. I know you will all learn a lot and experience great joy together. Oh, I wanted to say the other day was a first, seeing your son. He is handsome, cute, amazing and I remembered our two sons at that age. SO my friend great to hear your progressing forward and know that I book of your adventures, maybe evolved from and based on a travel blog is in the future. Send pictures, too. So glad your wonderful cat is going to be in a good place.
Be safe. Be warm. and until we meet again, may God hold you all in the palm of his hand. ” With Gratitude, Carol Brown
I’m glad that you are continueing your Subtle Yoga Resilience Society and i am excited for you and your family for your new adventure—-hope you keep us posted with your blogs so we can enjoy vicariously. God speed and Merry Christmas!
Kristine
Thank you for sharing about making a radical change and letting go!
On a personal level, I am so excited for you. My son lives in Christchurch and I can’t wait for the opportunity to go visit again. What a time to be there when so few tourists are around.
Thank you for your gift of focusing on what yoga is really about and for your beautiful energy.
Kate
Thank you for sharing those difficult emotions and clarifying reframes with us Kristine 💛. I feel your pain, having moved continents three times in my life (although not yet to NZ, where my husband is also from). I found it’s a constantly shifting process of adaptation and modification around a central intention to stay grounded, much like our Yoga practice. What helped me the most was constantly reminding myself that I was letting go only in order to let come, and while I could physically see and touch all that I was letting go I couldn’t yet see all that I was letting come. Trusting those two states are as inseperable as the twin wings that allow the bird to fly helped me enormously emotionally! I wish you safe travels dear Kristine and happy landings. Love and gratitude always 🙏🌟
Wow – this is huge! I loved reading this blog post and I really felt, and feel, your pain and struggle to let go. Sameness may not be exciting but it’s comfortable; letting go may be uncomfortable but it will be exciting!! I wish you and your family happiness and joy.
Kristine – Congratulations on ALL of it! We moved out of country 2 years ago and we brought only our clothes and a few kitchen items. We rent our furniture as the assignment has been fluid. We downgraded from a home 3x this size – and then COVID hit and kids came home from university for 6+ months. It’s been cozy. I left all of my friends and family at a time I was about to become an empty nester (still waiting for that to really happen with all the lockdowns). It’s been such a great experience to follow my own flow and not that of my tribe’s. It hasn’t always been easy and my meditation practice has definitely had so much more to work with – but I wouldn’t change any of it. Lots of solitude and time in nature. Heading back to the States in the Spring and not sure what that next adventure will be as we’re all different people now. Best to you. I would love to meet you there and do a wine tour together! During COVID, I’ve finally had the time to get my 200hour and 3 levels of wine certifications. NZ will be quite good to you, I’m sure. <3
I wish you and your family all the best on your new adventure. What an amazing opportunity this is! Thanks for your wisdom and much needed practices and teachings. They have been my go to this past year, which has been the most challenging of my life and I’ve had to let go of many things. Look up Lara Briden, ND specializing in women’s health. She lives in Christchurch too!
Ah, transitions. So hard, AND so rich and worthwhile. I often find that once I commit, it seems as though I am then reminded that it is perhaps just what I need/needed to begin with! But, oh, all the letting go! I am so excited or you and your family. New Zealand is one of my favorite places in the world. And you will learn to drive on the other side of the road- I just recommend not doing it with a stick-shift at first (those round abouts will rattle your skillset and nervous system all at once!). And who knows what all will unfold for you… isn’t that the best part? Breathing into the unknown and creating something new? I look forward to staying connected with you on our mats, regardless of our locations.
Kia ora!
Cameron
(ps… sorry, not sorry we held up the line at the post office the other day 🙂 )
haha! thanks Cameron – I’m so sorry not sorry we held up the line. xoxo
My husband and I spent 6 weeks travelling through New Zealand two years ago following his retirement. Loved the country and the people. I found the driving to be pretty easy compared to most North American cities. (I am left handed, maybe it’s a bit easier for me to adapt?). Thank you for sharing the real emotions that go along with any adventure. I am so grateful to have recently found you. My yoga practice and my classes are much richer and deeper as a result. Wishing you and your family all the best.
I am so excited for you to embark on this adventure. Maybe more excited than you. I can live vicariously through you and my own wild imagination. Many people want stability as they accumulate birthdays but at 70 I’d take the growth and do it. Actually moving to a ranch in a rural area of AZ has been and continues to be a wonderfully fulfilling adventure, with its joys and challenges. Big loving hugs from the Rockin RB Ranch AZ.
I am so happy for you and your family’s big adventure! I am also sad for all of us who will miss you. Even though I haven’t seen you, I realize it was comforting to know you were in AVL. I guess you will need to show us lots of good hobbit-like pictures! Hope you have lots of wonderful experiences.
Gloriously honest and hilarious blog in equal measure… you crack me up Kristine 🙂 You are gonna have a blast in NZ, the hiking is fab and the folks are lovely! So glad kitty found a good home – I was having sleepless nights over that one. Bless you lovely lady for sharing all your wisdom and good humour with us. Good luck and Bon Voyage XX
Dear Kristine, just opened up my phone and discovered you and your family are coming to Christchurch!! How Awesome! We will so love to have you hear😊 I have been following you for the past few months..have really enjoyed a different approach to Yoga..if I can help or do. anything, please feel welcome to contact me..
Hope your journey to ChCh goes well, Look forward to having your wonderful energy in my home town!!🙏
Thank you Maria! I only know a couple of people there and not very well, so it will be a very new experience indeed. I may just take you up on the offer – maybe you can take me for a tour and show me where to get the best chocolate and Indian food! LOL
xo
Thank you for sharing all the facts and emotions. Such a great opportunity and adventure. So appreciate your yoga sessions and learning–look forward to seeing you from your new home. Best wishes on the trip and settling in!
A beautiful new chapter awaits!
Safe journey to Aotearoa ❤️🙏
Definitely the tongue out helps with the drive on the other side 😂 Trust and there will be no struggle 😉
You will be fine. Enjoy 💜
We are all blessed to learn from you. I’m more an observer than participant as my days at hospital are 10-12 hours a day. I gain such comfort and awareness from all that you and the SY Resilience Society members share.
So fortunate that we can be far apart and still connected. Peace
May you have a Round Door….
Upon telling a friend of mine who is new to your Subtle Yoga teachings that you were leaving for a year or two to live in New Zealand, her initial impassioned response was: “I hope she’s coming back!!!”
You are loved here and will no doubt be loved there!!! Beyond grateful for all that you have shared online in the Subtle Yoga Community. Blessings to you & your family as you embark on this new adventure!!! ❤️🙏🏼❤️
And yes…. please make sure to come back!!! 😉
Know it couldn’t have been an easy decision. Uprooting seldom is, but the rewards, learning and growth can be amazing for all. You will be in all our hearts and thoughts. Tony and I only wish you the best as you start your new life. We were in New Zealand about 7 years ago and it is an amazingly beautiful place with equally amazing people. You will fit right in!
Fancy that! You are coming to my small island country. Thrilling news as I read about your letting go and suddenly realise you are coming to Christchurch, 2hrs drive from Timaru, where I live, in sight of the mountains and the sea. Maybe we’ll meet?
Thank you for all the wonderful teaching of subtle yoga and this awesome approach to gentle yoga. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings and wisdom through your teaching and now your personal life. Moving is a big deal, especially so far away! I have been to NZ, including CC and thought if I ever would move to another country, that is were it would be. The people are so friendly and compassionate. The land is the most beautiful in this world and while it is hard to let go, let God. Be well, be happy.
I do hope to continue to get your email and classes online…. Joani
Wishing you the best adventure of joy, growth, and love with your family! I’m among the envious, I’ll admit, and at the same time I totally relate to your challenges of letting go! But you’ve got an animated ally singing in your ear. And OMG, once you get on the road in NZ, you’ll need your full attention to remember to stay on the left! Lucky we practice yoga, and lucky for all of us in virtual yoga land, you’ll still be with us. Have fun stepping into a new, expanding reality. We’ll still be “here” with you,
Tara
Welcome, welcome down under!
Although I’m in Oz, NZ is my 2nd favourite place to live, and Chch to boot!
I did smile at your ‘ letting go list’ – and I/we look forward to hearing about your ‘replacement list’ , in a few months time 😉
Best wishes, peace and happiness to you and yours and prayers for a smooth transition, Maidi
Have an amazing journey- what a gift for you and your family. NZ is my favorite place on this lovely planet of ours.
I so appreciate your work as it’s helped me during this crazy year and I’m thrilled you will continue the Resilience group.
Cheers to you for your courage and love for your husband!
I send you the best for this journey. You introduce me in a new way to practice yoga. Since I met you my practice and my teaching have both change so much. I am so gratefull and i hope this road brings you all the joy, happiness, love, care, kindness you bring to all of us every day in your videos. Best wishes and peace for you and your familily. Carla.
Great blog and I will keep this in mind as I down size. We were married in Christ Church and have been back several time. It will be an adjustment, no doubt, but talk about diving deep into slow 🙂 you will have some tough times sure but you will fall in love….hard. Best to you and please keep teaching us
Congratulations, it’s a part of your process and necessary to go through this for growth and experiential learning opportunities. New Zealand is one of the safest countries on the planet. I loved it when I was there in 2001. I stayed the full period of my visa, up until the last day. It was tough to leave, and I would love to got back. One of my dreams is to retire on the South Island.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful adventure!
Wow that’s very exciting Kristine, when you let go of the fear of course!! I have attended just a few of your sessions and really enjoyed them. Thank you. May your journey continue to be amazing. Having travelled years ago myself in New Zealand, it is a special and beautiful country. Coming from Ireland, another beautiful, even smaller island i know you will get on amazingly well. Enjoy
Having spent 6 unexpected months in NZ myself, I can tell you that your life will indeed be different. I have been home for 5 months now and struggle everyday to keep my KIWI SPIRIT in tact. I was much more at ease in NZ, even when we were in our brief (compared to USA) lockdown. I ate better. I slept better. I took better care of myself when I was there. I can’t wait for the borders to open so I can go back to visit my son, daughter inlaw and granddaughter. Have a wonderful adventure! Drink it all in and embrace the KIWI spirit and way of life. Safe travels!
I know the journey! We did a similar thing this summer — sold our house, got rid of lots and lots of “stuff” uprooted and moved to the South of France. No regrets. Like you “downsized” from a 4 bed to 2 bed — but I’m glad about it. Plus the place we found has a 180 degree view of the Mediterranean Sea. Makes it all worth while. Good luck to you. It’s a grand adventure!
Kia Ora Kristine. I’m in Wanaka, NZ with family in Christchurch. I am a teacher and recently started ongoing study with American Viniyoga Institute. Would love to make contact when you get here.
Thank you Sandy – I will!