How to not live in fear. I wish I could give a “5 Steps to Not Living in Fear” tele-seminar and explain the simple, but obvious secrets to living the fearless life you deserve. But like all real-life challenges, figuring out how not to be afraid is not always a simple, obvious formula that everyone can access with equal ease.
A student from the Subtle Yoga Training Program called me today and asked me about dealing with recurrent fears. “I have horrible scenarios running through my head about what could happen.” she said.
Yup I get that too. And when I ruminate about why these big disaster scenarios enter my mind, I can’t help but wonder what I am gaining from it. Perhaps when something bad really does happen I will have hedged my bets. I can then say with lots of self-satisfied glee, ‘See, I knew I was going to get cancer! I always knew it!’ “
So what then? I get points for being the most psychic, because I always knew!? For me, the appropriate solution to catastrophic thinking patterns is… laughter. I happened to be near a mirror when I was recently having a catastrophic thought about my son, riding his bike, getting mowed over by a speeding car.
So I glanced up and caught a glimpse of myself. And then proceeded to smirk and giggle. He is having fun, he is being safe and my catastrophic thought is far too far out there in misfiring neurotransmitter land to be of any use to anyone.
Fear of horrible things happening is a state of being disconnected from myself and my Source. When I am trusting that things are being taken care of, that things are happening as they should, then there is no need to fear. I can relax. Interestingly when I relax, there is no fear. Did I mention that yoga is good for relaxing?
The other big thing for me is to stop and flood myself with gratitude for what I have right in front of me right now. Helping my son catch a baby cricket (who has been chirping on the refrigerator door) in his bug net and releasing him outside, or enjoying the cucumbers from the garden (they are going a bit crazy out there!), or taking a deep breath as I move into a delicious asana, or driving the car with a half full tank that works just fine, or sleeping next to a man who could win a prize for being the kindest person in the world – all these things put me in a state of delirious gratitude.
That’s what I have right now. That’s what fills me. I don’t know what I will have tomorrow, but if I spend my time in fear of that rather than with what I have right now, then I’ve lost today. And I won’t stand for that. I won’t allow fear of the future to ruin my present life – that’s what the mirror me tells me. And that invites me to have a good laugh.