When I returned from my 4 years in Asia, I moved in with my parents for a few months until I could figure out what to do with my slightly confused 29-year-old self.
I was in the habit of meditating every morning. But my mom was unimpressed. “You’re just sitting there,” she told me one day, “It’s unproductive. And frankly it seems selfish.”
Sure it stung at the time, but I gotta cut my mom some slack. In the west we’re taught that being busy and being good are basically the same thing. So, anything that isn’t productive at least externally, can seem quite selfish – particularly for women who are acculturated to put everyone else’s needs before their own. And of course, when you stay perpetually busy, you can avoid dealing with the accumulation of uncomfortable emotional clutter.
I was trying to sort out my life – to process what I had experienced while abroad, to think about who I wanted to be, how I wanted to live, and what I was going to do with myself. At that point in my life I needed to do a lot of navel gazing – it was helping me, it was clarifying things.
I was praciting Svādhyāya – self-reflection and self-study in order to gain a deeper sense of identity, meaning, and purpose.
Svādhyāya comes from the words svā (self) plus adhyāya (a lesson, lecture, reading). So Svādhyāya can be interpreted both as “studying the texts by yourself” as well as “studying yourself.”
The idea that intuitional practice is merely “navel gazing,” smacks of intolerance, underscored by puritanical thinking and the protestant work ethic. It’s a phrase that conveniently and wittily discounts contemplation as a waste of time, and shores up stereotypes of South-Asian, colonized laziness.
I would suggest that most westerners could use a lot more navel gazing – particularly during these very difficult times when we are called upon to make significant changes in the way with think and act – about race, about the environment, about how we organize ourselves economically, and much more.
The west has been excellent at developing technology for manipulating the external world – but the relentless pursuit of external resources to meet unexamined, largely subconscious internal needs is deeply problematic. Unfettered accumulation is a cultural mental illness that feeds off of and eventually destroys itself.
Yoga evolved in the east as a technology for manipulating the internal world. This inner contemplation is precisely the balance that western culture needs if it is going to survive in any sort of healthy, sustainable way.
I believe that in today’s world, a dedicated svādhyāya practice can support the resolution of pressing individual as well as social problems.
In order for it to be effective, Svādhyāya is ideally a daily, regular process/practice. And I would argue that regular Svādhyāya actually makes you less lazy and self-absorbed. As Mahātmā Gandhi famously said, “I have so much to accomplish today that I must meditate for two hours instead of one.”
While Svādhyāya and meditation are not the same thing, they certainly dovetail into each other. It’s hard not to reflect on yourself, your actions, your day, your hopes, dreams, aspirations, when you are sitting still with your eyes closed.
One way to practice Svādhyāya is to take the yamas and niyamas and reflect on your day in light of them. You may choose to focus just on one, or do them all at once. How did the principles show up for you today? Is there anything you could have thought, said, or done differently? How would you like to show up tomorrow?
What you are doing here is creating a connection, a relationship, or a flow between how things are, and how they could be. Between reality and idealism. Yoga is a practice of ideals and potential. The yamas and niyamas are very much ideals which we will always fail to live up to – and that is perfectly okay.
(image credit: Mado Biddle)
The lives of saints and the sages pointed in a direction of possibility – this is what humanity can be. So it’s important to leave shame out of the equation, it’s just not helpful. Just because you aren’t achieving something today, doesn’t mean that you can’t become something better tomorrow. Yoga promises something so optimistic and positive that it makes my heart sings. Things can always, always get better.
I want to say one more thing about Svādhyāya. Ironically, regular self-reflection often elicits a desire to serve.
Rather than helping out of some twisted church-lady-sense of duty, Svādhyāya inspires you to help out from a sense of inner knowing and awareness.
Self-reflection complemented by serving others is a synergistic pairing. If you spend a lot of time thinking about yourself (as we all do because that’s quite a human thing) then as my mom feared, you can get a little self-absorbed.
But when you spend time thinking about yourself in light of the yamas and niyamas, you start to expand your self-concept and your potential. You also start to expand your circle of compassion and empathy – and feel more compelled toward benevolent action in the world.
When Svādhyāya is practiced in this spirit, it brings with it the possibility of personal and social transformation, something the world desperately needs at the moment.
Please check out our new course, Yoga Ethics for Transforming Racism.
CHAIR YOGA FOR YOUR BRAIN & NERVOUS SYSTEM
SUBTLE® YOGA FOR ENHANCING TRAUMA RECOVERY
Five Ways Yogic Meditation Benefits Your Brain – eBook
QUESTIONS?
We would love to hear from you!
Please wait while comments are loading...
You rock my world a dear lady!
I like Mahatma Gandhi’s insight and solution to getting things done. The shame issue is a big one and seems pretty widespread in some religious traditions and families and self talk as well. It’s a long way to being perfect isn’t it? Or is it? It makes a great aspiration and it’s great to be part of a community that honours the process of continual improvement….personally I keep the Yama and Niyama in mind and keep working at it…it’s a process and svadhyaya is a really good investment.
When will women learn that busy and important aren’t the same things? In fact, it’s the “busy work” that has long been pawned off on women freeing up men to do the thought work. I get a lot of flack for spending time reading, meditating and doing yoga. I am notorious in my family for my messy house. I tell them it’s better than a messy mind and that the body is a more important container to maintain than a house or a car. The accumulators spend A LOT of time managing their stuff. Is there anything more tedious than trying to have a conversation with an accumulator? They tend to vent a lot of anxiety related to their stuff –it’s broken or lost or needs to be upgraded (yawn). Give me a yoga mat and a library card and I’m all set! Thanks for a refreshing, validating read! J’ai
Beautiful written Christine. And as always very timely. We are a small % of the population that realizes the not doing makes our doing so much meaningful. And I agree with Chris it is so easy to get caught up in the shame mode when reflecting and the in the West it seems so many expect that of us, shame vs. compassionate inquiry and reflection. I love the idea of utilizing the Yama and Niyama to guide a svadhyaya practice which I think happens naturally when self reflecting but I don’t think I have put together concretely like this. Thank you so much. 🙏🏻
So many, many of my friends measure their worth by how much they do — they’re far too busy & important to meditate, obviously. They have too much to do to take time for themselves in the morning. It’s so sad. Great post, Kristine!
I enjoyed reading your insights and shared Gandhi words with my husband. They made great sense to me and he got it also! I’m just beginning to add some meditaition due to my personal stress during these days which is greatly affected by our current situations in our country. Thank goodness for youtube and the wonderful practioniers that share on there. it’s been great and I share what I find with others💗 Your article makes me realize I should do some each morning🌺 thank you for sharing! Namaste
You’re not alone Melissa – I think we are in the middle of a great, big collective traumatic experience. We may not even understand the impact of what we are facing at this moment for several years. The main thing is to prioritize self-care. So it’s wonderful that you’ve found some help.
Wow! Thank you Kristine. So many thoughts, I’m getting ready to read your article again. ( Yes I tend to read things quickly because I do everything in a hurry! ) I have lived this way for so long. Your class is saving me at this time of covid and such upheaval and sadness in our country and family challenges. I never knew what Yamas and Niyamas were so now these words and meanings will be front and center in front of my yoga mat. I am ever so grateful for finding you and your teaching at this time. Thank you so much.
Aw thank you Janet! I really appreciate it and I’m so happy to hear that Subtle Yoga is helping you right now.❤️
Hello Kristine, I am amazed at how you always manage to articulate so well the big questions that occupy my mind!!! I don’t manage to read every single one of your posts but when I do, I always find myself nodding in agreement with the message(e) embedded in them. Thank you for sharing your insights, your experiences, your stories and for putting into action your vision for a more resilient, connected and kinder world. Perhaps hard as it may be, this pandemic which has turned our lives upside down is an opportunity to raise collective consciousness and pause the fast and mindless living that brought us to this point in the first place. I feel that we have never needed Svadhyaya more than we do now.
Yes, yes..and ooohhhhh yeeesssss. Thanks so much for the clarity. ‘Loved wholeheartedly, and am thankful of everyday to learn and serve…and practice discernment.