Can We Please Stop Blaming Women for Being Sick?
By Kristine Kaoverii Weber | July 15, 2022
A Chronic Illness Story
The first time I went to a doctor to talk about feeling exhausted he told me I had to slow down, that I was overworking myself, that I needed more rest.
Sure, he was right. I was young, busy, trying to make ends meet, working a lot. I was tired. But so were lots of other women I knew. And while he had a good point (because just about everyone in our rat race culture needs more rest), I also knew there was something else going on.
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After a few more years of trying to figure out why I was so tired (and many different practitioners), an integrative doc finally decided it would be a good idea to check my thyroid. The tests showed that I had abnormally high levels of TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) which meant that I had Hashimoto’s disease.
At that point the doctor told me I could either start taking thyroid medicine daily (which I’d have to be on for the rest of my life) or try some supplements that might help.
I went the supplement route.
I also doubled down on my relaxation practices – Yoga Nidra, restorative yoga, legs up the wall, long savasanas. I added more poses like Shoulder stand, Hare, and Bridge which were supposedly helpful for the thyroid, and did more meditation. Subtle Yoga emerged from this time in my life – because I started to understand that there were ways to practice that supported my health rather than contribute further to my exhaustion. For a while my meditation practice was like an anti-depressant. I’d wake up exhausted, do a bunch of asanas and a long meditation, and then I’d feel okay enough to get through my day.
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(BTW I’m not prescribing this solution for hypothyroidism, everyone’s gotta find their own path, this is just what worked for me, and only for about 15 years.)
As I began to slide into menopause my symptoms got worse. My doctor strongly suggested I start medication and I capitulated. I started feeling much better right away and I have made peace with having a chronic condition and being on medication. I still do tons of yoga and lots of other integrative stuff to support my health.
Still, I have felt a lot of shame about my autoimmune diseases (I also have Raynaud’s which was diagnosed when I was 4). Practitioners have told me that it has to do with my “Type A personality,” my go go go attitude, my striving, my perfectionism, etc. I’ve heard it all – often from folks who don’t know me very well and are simply guessing that’s what I’m like based on autoimmune profiles.
Autoimmune issues are rampant in western culture. There are at least 100 of them including things like Type 1 Diabetes, Rheumatoid Arthritis, MS, Lupus, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and of course Hashimoto’s. Three out of four people who have autoimmune diseases are women.
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And while there are lots of theories about this gender imbalance being related to everything from chromosomes to hormones to sex specific inflammatory processes, there is no definitive biomedical answer – probably because it’s not entirely physiologic.
The Problem of “Type A” Women
There are strong correlations in the research literature between stress and autoimmune disorders. But toxicity in the environment and mental health challenges are also highly correlated with autoimmune dysfunction, so we cannot place the blame entirely on psychological stress, or having a “Type A Personality” (and, BTW, the whole theory of the “Type A” has been robustly refuted).
Several doctors blamed my Hashimoto’s on my tendency to be too busy. And even if that was 100% accurate, it also smacks of victim blaming – quite common from medical providers towards white women, even more so toward BIPOC women (There’s plenty of data about implicit bias of medical professionals towards people of color).
Also, I think it’s useful to remember that American culture tends to eat you up if you don’t hustle.
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The fact is that women have been labeled “hysterical” and “psychosomatic” and have been accused of making a fuss over nothing for centuries. And while I believe these prejudices are starting to unravel, we still have a long way to go.
For me, the idea that your personality is a primary cause of your illness is deeply problematic for many reasons. Sure, stress is a factor in autoimmune issues – but stress comes in many forms – physical, psychological, environmental, and social. Yoga is wonderful for coping with some of the effects of stress. It has been my go-to for most of my life.
But human beings don’t live in isolation. We interact. We are affected by each others’ behavior, thoughts and ideas. We are affected by discrimination and stereotypes leveled against us, by disciminatory messages we’ve internalized, often unknowingly. We are also affected by environmental stressors like toxins from agriculture, in the water, and in the air. These are things that we, as individuals, don’t have a lot of control over.
The problem, as I see it, is when you blame autoimmune issues (or any chronic disease for that matter) on the individual, their personality, their behavior, or even on their trauma – you are missing a much larger phenomenon – the phenomenon of having a body and living with other humans on this planet.
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The Social Stress of Being a Woman
A few things that I think have contributed to my stress which has prompted my Hashimotos include factors like being exposed to pesticides and other environmental toxins, including radioactive iodine released from the Three Mile Island disaster (I was a teenager living about 100 miles from the plant when it melted down and all of my 3 sisters have thyroid or other endocrine issues as well).
Other stress factors include the excessive amount of cortisol that pumps through women’s bodies when we feel dismissed, mistreated, or minimized in countless situations, over the course of a lifetime. Things like being repeatedly sexually harassed or abused by strangers, neighbors, and family members. Or being dismissed, brushed off, or belittled when we voice an opinion. Or being told that we can’t do things because of our gender, and all the other blatant and micro-aggressions women are subjected to.
I always thought I was safe and free as a white American woman. I never thought I had a lot of stress around my personal safety. But then when I was 25, I moved to Tokyo, Japan. I lived there for two years. I would take the train around the city. Sometimes I’d be out with friends and come home by myself at 11 pm or midnight.
But walking home in the dark alone as a white woman in a Japanese city, when I felt rather safe, was an entirely different experience than walking home alone in an American city, where I felt very unsafe. When I stopped and thought about this, I realized the tremendous stress incurred by being female in American culture – which I had never previously understood so intimately.
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So stress is a factor in autoimmune diseases but the amount of stress could be better managed not only by the individual, but also by the culture.
Still, why is it that more women get autoimmune diseases?
Is it because we are naturally more predisposed to them?
Or because we don’t handle stress well?
Better stress management and a healthier lifestyle including more yoga practice are essential IMHO. I am a yoga teacher, trainer, and a passionate advocate for the use of yoga in health care – particularly in the management of chronic illnesses like autoimmune disease.
However, this is only the tip of the iceberg. If you don’t widen the lens and bring in a larger, social perspective on human existence, you can easily end up victim blaming/shaming.
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The Social and Environmental Determinants of Health
Up to 70% of the health locus of control (that means who and what controls your health) is external to the individual. That’s right – external. Meaning that we do not have control of up to 70% of the things that cause us to get sick.
I remember when I first saw this data, it blew my socks off because it’s so opposite of what pop culture and the medical world tells us about who is to blame for poor health.
This research from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation suggests that our health, up to 70% of it, lies in factors that are external to ourselves including the social and environmental determinants of health (SDOH and EDOH). The SDOH and the EDOH are factors including whether or not you have strong support system, good friends, a happy family, meaningful work, a healthy place to live, enough money to live well, access to good, affordable health care, a safe neighborhood, good educational opportunities, and access to clean air, water, parks, nature, etc.
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Before I read this study, I had always understood that it was MY behavior, MY personality, MY unrelenting drive to succeed, MY inability to relax blah, blah, blah that caused my auto-immune issues. It was ME. I was the problem, I needed to change.
But maybe that’s not entirely true.
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Bad Science
Telling people that their personalities have caused their illnesses is not only victim-blaming and hurtful, it’s also bad science. Because the cause of our illnesses is even more embedded in the culture, the environment, and in social factors than it is in the individual’s behavior, personality, or mind.
Now yoga, at its core, is about looking deeply at ourselves and making necessary changes (and just to be clear, when I use the term “yoga” I include ethical engagement, pranayama and meditation in the definition). I get that. I totally believe in it. And I love that part of yoga, as hard and unpleasant as it is to hold that mirror up to yourself and make the changes that you need to make.
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Real Healing
But to really heal ourselves, we have to transform not only our own ways of being, but we also have to transform and heal our cultures. As much as anything, yoga is about understanding and perceiving the interconnectedness and interdependency of all things. Basically, we individual human begins are each cells in the body of humanity. We influence each other all the time.
Yes, yoga can help us become more conscious and more aware of our own issues and what we can do about them, and I love that. But, for me, what’s even more compelling about yoga is that it can help us apply that awareness to making important social and cultural changes. It inspires us to change ourselves – and also to recognize the problems in the world and help to change them.
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We have to stop blaming women for their illnesses. What we need is more empathy, understanding, nurturing, and support – attitudes and activities that are often considered very feminine. The world needs this feminine energy to counter the insanely hypermasculine energy that has overrun this planet. It’s through this shift that we will achieve real social as well as environmental transformation.
And that’s what the world is waiting for. It’s what will bring healing – individually and collectively.
That’s the kind of world I want to live in.
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Love when you talk about this. It is such an important message counteracting the implicit and explicit blaming we get. You really could expand this into a book. Or maybe that’s too “type A”!
Hahaha! Yes probably a bit too type A. I’ve been threatening to write a book for year, but just can’t get my Type A butt in gear. Oh well. one of these days. Anyway, thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed the blog.
This is a good reminder for women. I agree with your thoughts.
thank you!
This also affects nonbinary and transgender individuals as well. There is also a large correlation between undiagnosed autism/ADHD and autoimmune issues in individuals assigned female at birth. Many of us develop autoimmune conditions (for me it’s fibromyalgia and a few of fibro’s “friends”) because of a lifetime of masking and the stress that causes.
thank you Kit, really important point! There is so much intersectionality.
Thankyou for this blog. Very interesting and so true. I have been teaching yoga for 30 years now and so so often hear women say everything is their fault and they are worthless. I encourage them to hold their heads up and stand tall because they are beautiful unique human beings.
I always enjoy your blogs and find them very inspiring.
Janet Siddall
Thanks Janet – and thanks for being such a supportive teacher for your students!
Thank you for an interesting and thought provoking blogg.
Thanks Sue!
Loved reading this. Yoga md meditation was definitely the bridge that helped me. This article has so many great points to reflect on. I would read your book for sure! Thank you
Thank you!
Excellent and well said!
glad you enjoyed it Wendy!
As a yoga teacher in the krishnamacharya tradition and in my 60s with auto immune conditions developed in my 40s and 50s your article really resonates with me.
As in my training ….it always depends and there is no cookie cutter black and white solutions
Thank you for bringing this to light and empowering women with good science and open mindedness … feminine wisdom
Thanks Michelle. I’m glad you enjoyed it! And I agree – we are all trying to find our own way home.
You mean inflammatory bowel disease, not irritable bowel disease (I think you’re getting mixed up with irritable bowel syndrome which is a set of symptoms and not a disease). IBD itself comprises 2 distinct autoimmune conditions: crohns disease and ulcerative colitis. I have the latter and had yoga teachers tell me “you don’t have a bowel disorder, you have an anxiety disorder”, as well as having to sit through classes where the teacher says “you can think yourself sick” and “western medicine is poisoning people with drugs”. It was so stressful and damaging to be constantly shamed in that way, and yes i take medication with horrible side effects because I would be dead without it and yoga doesn’t cure everything.
No I meant irritable bowel syndrome
As a yoga teacher in the krishnamacharya tradition and in my 60s with auto immune conditions developed in my 40s and 50s your article really resonates with me.
As in my training ….it always depends and there is no cookie cutter black and white solutions
Thank you for bringing this to light and empowering women with good science and open mindedness … feminine wisdom
This is great. You are great. Thank you.
Gabor Mate is interesting on stress and it’s impact, The Body Says No. and there’s a lot of books on the bias against women in medicine.
I’m interested in this topic in terms of mental health too. I have anorexia and a friend says the number one predisposing factor is living in this world in a female body. One time in hospital a male doctor said nastily, do you think you are better than women who weigh more than you? I don’t think I’m better than anyone – with the possible exception of him …
Namaste
Thanks Katrina. I love Mate’s work. And I hope you find true support on your healing journey
Thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts. I agree wholeheartedly! I left the medical field, where I worked as a nurse, for many of the reasons you mention. The intention was to pursue teaching yoga and meditation as another way of healing. So much gratitude that I am in a position to share the benefits of both practices.
yes that’s beautiful. I’m glad you found a way to share your gifts.
Thankyou Kristine. Your story, Hashimoto’s, Raynaud’s, Auto Immune is mine exactly. 2022 has been the worst year ever in my personal health, so thankyou for the reminder that it is ok to capitulate, if that is what is needed next. I always love your honesty in sharing, and so much gratitude in your thought provoking articles. Namaste
thank you Sallyann and I wish you peace and contentment as you continue on your healing journey
Thank you for sharing. A very interesting an inspiring read. As someone who has hashimotos and other AI diseases, when you ask medical professionals ”why?” You get told, ‘just because’. I have repeatedly asked myself “why?” and it’s good to know it’s maybe not ‘just because’
Since teaching, I feel I want to use my yoga practice to benefit the health care of others, but am unsure of the way to shape this. So you’ve given more food for thought.
that’s great Clare, I’m glad it was helpful – and I feel like healing from autoimmune issues is a journey of self-discovery and self-compassion that can lead to self-love
Love reading all of your blogs. very inspiring.
Thanks Teri!
Yes, let’s Support and Encourage feminine energy , feminine wisdom, nurturing and compassion.thanks
I have to share this, and I hope that’s okay!
You have some very important things to say to the world, and I certainly couldn’t have said it any better. But I can magnify a good idea/message when I hear it. And this qualifies as a great message 🙂
Namaste
yes of course, feel free to share. thank you!
Thanks for your wisdom, and the reminder …. to continue to get the feminine energy out there – individually and collectively. Much love to you and all xx
Thank you!
Excellent information. Thank you!
So many great points, Kaoverii! Very well written! Thank you for putting all these pieces together.
Also, if the autoimmunity problems were caused by being Type A, that flawed picture has been shown to fit more men than women, and, as you said, women are much more likely to develop those conditions. We’re only beginning to understand those SDOH and EDOH factors, along with other toxic stress factors from childhood (ACES). Some of the sets of dots connect pretty easily and others are more elusive, as stress affects EVERY system in our bodies, and each person in slightly different ways.
thank you Suzi, what a great point!