Let’s just say that I, uh, had a friend (ahem) who once worked for a studio owner whose motto was “It’s all good.”
“Sorry, I’m a bit late, I was having trouble finding a parking spot.”
“No problem, it’s all good man.”
“The blankets need to be washed.”
“I hear you. It’s all good.”
“Uh, could I get my paycheck? It’s a week late.”
“Absolutely! it’s all good.”
Sometimes she felt a little concerned because many days he was clearly high as a kite while running the front desk – but she never had any serious run-ins with him. He was an amiable enough dude.
However, it soon became clear that the business was not doing well. She started to hear rumors. He had brought in a couple of big name teachers for events and ended up not paying them. He and his partner took lavish vacations abroad but at the same time, he was behind on his rent, he hadn’t paid the director of the teacher training, and the studio might be changing hands.
Things were definitely NOT “all good.”
When “it’s all good” is your philosophy, denial and avoidance become your partners in crime. And any ethical framework, including the yamas and niyamas become easy to dismiss or blissfully ignore.
But life is complicated.
And sometimes life is really hard.
Whitewashing that hardship with bumper sticker philosophy does not make complications evaporate. But, unfortunately, in the yoga world, “it’s all good” is a commonly bandied about platitude. As if having a positive attitude solves all problems. It doesn’t, in fact a positive attitude alone, without being grounded in the reality of problem-solving, relationship-building, real world goal setting and self-evaluation, and meaning-making, causes a lot of suffering.
It’s understandable. Many people are searching, they want a deeper sense of meaning and purpose in their lives.
Then they find a yoga community and are so relieved to be around so many bright, happy, beautiful people. They feel safe and supported, they feel like they can finally let go of their troubles and find some inner peace. They feel like they’ve come home.
But here’s the thing with yoga – after the honeymoon is over, you have to develop a willingness to unpack all your inner junk and sift through it.
You could say that this is the heart of the practice: removing the veils of illusion and ignorance. Those veils are often heavy and dirty and require some serious laundering (and just when you feel like the laundry is finally done…).
This former studio owner (obviously, that venture was not meant to last) and others with the “it’s all good” motto tend to misinterpret yoga as an easy solution – to use it as a kind of spiritual bariatric bypass surgery.
Spiritual evolution is a constant process of engaging, not detaching or dissociating, but engaging – with yourself, with others, and with the world. And that engaging process, at times, has a friction-like quality to it.
It’s through the friction that the inner diamond gets polished. If you want to grow, you have to be willing to put your nose to that grindstone again and again.
Sometimes it’s tolerable, and sometimes it’s utterly excruciating.
But that doesn’t mean you should avoid it.
For me, the concept of shraddha or “faith” becomes so important here – faith in yourself, faith in the process, faith in your higher power, faith in your support system, faith in life.
And when you get to the other side of the darkness there’s an overwhelming potential for peace, humility, and a lasting, profound shift into a deeper level of happiness, and sense of meaning and purpose.
It’s a process.
“It’s all good” denies this very fundamental evolutionary process and sets you back to the starting line.
Bumper sticker philosophy is fine for cars, but it can’t deliver the nuanced wisdom that emerges from examined experience.
Once again, Kristine hits the nail square on the head. Affirmations only work if some part of us believes what we are telling ourselves, just as having a “fake it until you make it” mentality is just simply faking it if you’re not invested in working toward making it. This can only lead to having a greater sense of lack of worth and defeat. Acceptance of where (who) we are now and a steady vision toward where (who) we want to be has to be part of an honest attempt at change. Every flower has to start out as something totally different so its beauty might become fully realized.
Thanks Viv! I love your flower metaphor.🌻
Love everything about this! I find the constant positive outlook and silver-lining of things to be exhausting. Sometimes life is hard, sad, etc. and that’s OK. It’s OK to be sad, mad, angry, among other “negative” emotions. That’s part of life and our yoga practice should help us dig through those emotions, not mask and avoid them.
Thank you Amberly. I totally agree!
The truth, the humor, the wisdom and experience in this entry are breathtaking in all our actual human shared experiences and connections….As I read each word, I went from wanting to shout “Tell it, Girl” to the stinging tears of experience first hand; from the climbing out of the ‘dark holes of grief and despair’, to the elation and joy of having knowledge and tools and support that a strong yoga community can provide….Thanking you, Kaoverii, for all that you practice and say and do to make this world a better, brighter, healthier place! It’s a process for sure….a long, winding, yellow brick, rocky road!!
Namaste and Shalom,
Amanda
Aw Amanda, thank you so much. What a beautiful comment. You made me a little misty too. ❤️
Once again your inner diamond shining bright Kristine! Life is hard, we do struggle, and the work can be tough…. And then then an email pops up from you with the best cat giffs ever and words of eternal wisdom, and I feel better and stronger for reading, practicing and sharing your essential work. Thank you for all that you give, you’re a star XX
So well said, Kaoverii. And very timely !
The honeymoon analogy is great. Long before I was married myself, a friend speaking of her own partnership said. “The beginning is great. After the honeymoon, it’s hard, but if you do the work during the hard time, then it’s REALLLLLLLY GOOD.” This is what distinguishes people “doing yoga” as part of a trend, and people “being yoga” as a way of life. Of course many of us slide a little between the two from time to time:). We are so blessed with resources!